There She Was


There she was, walking through the airport terminal, obviously in great distress.  Her face was conveying a significant inner struggle.  Her misery drew me in.  She was all I could see.  The woman was wearing what appeared to be a short white tennis outfit.  It struck me as odd that this is what she would choose to wear in an airport.  I realized that she was trying to make it to the restroom and was in the process of soiling herself.  She was forced to stop in her tracks as she tried to contain herself and hold back what was coming against her will.  I watched in horror as I witnessed a brown stain spreading across the bloomers of the tennis skirt.  The smell struck me at the same time.

Suddenly my eyes panned to the face of a woman sitting at a cafe table whose face registered the horror I was feeling.  She quickly turned away, pretending not to see, attempting to spare the dignity of the woman in distress.

I could tell the lady who was ill was close to the restroom, yet she was stopped in her tracks by her sickness.  I could feel myself willing her to make it. Shifting across her face were emotions that were painful to witness.  There was suffering and embarrassment as well as desperation and utter helplessness.

When I awakened from this dream I felt very distressed.  The dream was so real that (as I said) I could smell the stench of her uncleanness and yet all my concern was for her and her emotional state.  There was no hiding her shame and embarrassment.  The little skirt showed everything.  I worried about how she would clean herself up in a public restroom, all alone with no one to come to her aid.  Myself and my family were scheduled to be flying home from Italy in a few short days and I wondered if I would encounter such a woman in the airport as I traveled.  I hoped this wasn’t God’s way of warning me this would happen to me.

Our True Condition

As I pondered the dream I realized that this situation would be up there on the list for one of my worst nightmares.  To soil oneself in public would be utterly humiliating! Self wants to preserve dignity at all costs.  I was very troubled as I continued to replay the dream in my mind.  Being sick like the woman in the dream is an incredibly humbling experience when your body rebels and you have no control over it.  It is also a time of great vulnerability and helplessness.  I don’t care how important or famous the person is, none of us is immune to the affects of illness on the human body; it is part of the human condition.

In the days and weeks following the dream, God began to speak many things to me regarding what He needed me to understand through the dream.  The woman in the dream represents our state when we are in the grip of sin.  Sin is a deadly toxin that, in a best case scenario, will make us spiritually ill and unclean and at worst, eventually leads to our death and destruction.  We all know how the spread of disease works.  We know the processes for preventing the spread of disease and how difficult it can be to not get contaminated when we are in environments where sickness is running rampant.

The Wages of Sin

Our biggest defense against the spread of illness is sanitation.  Just as we wash our hands and body with soap and water to decontaminate ourselves, we must be washed in a solution of repentance and the love of the Father.  Jesus died to save us from our sins, but if we don’t stop to clean up through repentance our sins will make us violently ill spiritually and we will infect others around us.  How do we infect those around us?

Our words and actions will either be words of blessing and life or tainted with sin; they will bring sickness and pain to those we touch.

As we know with hand washing 101 lessons, cleansing is important for two reasons: our protection from disease and the prevention of the spread of disease.

The physical body will not recover until the virus is shed.  The process is violent and uncomfortable, but it is effective.  To function in the fullness of victory that God intended for us, our Spirit man must shed the virus of sin also and that process can feel very uncomfortable.  We will either voluntarily come to Jesus to be made clean or eventually our sin will ultimately lead to our public shame and spiritual death.

How sick we become and how painful the process becomes to us and those around us has everything to do with our ability to humble ourselves and ask Jesus to help make us clean. We must ask Jesus to heal us of the source of the sin.

How God Sees Sin

As the woman was soiling herself, I could smell it and that is not a pleasant smell.  Neither is sin to the nostrils of Father God yet he sees us in our state of misery.  He still loves us in our sin, so much so that He sent His son Jesus as the Janitor of the world to wash us and to make us clean…to come to us in our moment of helplessness and shame, cleaning us up and nursing us when others would turn away.  Jesus isn’t looking at us in disgust in those moments but rather with great love and compassion.  In my dream, I could feel his heart of concern and compassion for the woman in distress.

In the body of Christ, we have whitewashed sin.  We use words and expressions such as, “mistake, mess up, I’m only human, etc.” to minimize the seriousness of sin and its resulting defilement.  Make no mistake, we are unclean and that defilement creates separation between us and Father God who is Holy.  This is what makes the fact that God chose to come down into the earth through Jesus and live surrounded by defilement such a precious gift.

The fact that Jesus chose to die for our sins and drink the cup of our sin becomes all the more precious if we imagine Jesus drinking a cup of excrement and every other unclean thing you can imagine.

He didn’t just bear it.  He took it into himself and experienced all of its affects, the ultimate consequence being temporary separation from God.  But we were worth it all for Him because that is how much He loves us, how much God loves us!

Are We Contaminating Those Around Us?

Hurting people hurt people.  Sick people infect people.  We must wash up and do it frequently.

How many times a day do you wash your hands? Shower? Brush your teeth, etc.? Repentance should be a consistent part of our lives.

As we grow in the Lord we will find it easier and easier to spot hidden sin and turn to God asking forgiveness through the blood that Jesus shed.  What a gift he gave that so often sits unopened on the shelf!

It’s time for the church to get clean.  Jesus is our Janitor, Physician and Healer.   We must see the seriousness of sin…the uncleanness of sin.  We must see the resulting spiritual sickness, defilement and ultimate death sin causes.  Will we be willing to take a look in the mirror and see what is being reflected?  We must use the magnifying mirror that Holy Spirit provides and look deep within ourselves and look at our actions.  We owe it to God, ourselves and those we come in contact with.

Be brave.  Look.  Repent and be made clean! Rejoice!

Our Prayer


Father God, thank you for loving us so much that you sent your son Jesus to die for our sins. We want to be reconciled to You and each other! Give us the courage to take an honest look at ourselves and give us ears to hear and eyes to see what you desire to heal through our repentance. Your timing is perfect. You reveal so You can heal. Heal us and those we have offended and injured in our sin. We ask for a heart of humility to walk in obedience to your Word. Thank you for all that you are going to do in our life as we are transformed and set free from all that binds us! You are a good Father! In Jesus’ Name, Amen

Scriptures for Meditation


~ Isaiah 31:6-7 (NIV)

Return, you Israelites, to the One you have so greatly revolted against. For in that day every one of you will reject the idols of silver and gold your sinful hands have made.

~ Revelation 3:1-6

“To the angel of the church in Sardis write:

These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.

Yet you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their clothes. They will walk with me, dressed in white, for they are worthy. The one who is victorious will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out the name of that person from the book of life, but will acknowledge that name before my Father and his angels. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

~ Revelation 3:14-22

14 “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. 15 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.

19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”

~ Job 5:17-21

17 “Blessed is the one whom God corrects;
    so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.[a]
18 For he wounds, but he also binds up;
    he injures, but his hands also heal.
19 From six calamities he will rescue you;
    in seven no harm will touch you.
20 In famine he will deliver you from death,
    and in battle from the stroke of the sword.
21 You will be protected from the lash of the tongue,
    and need not fear when destruction comes.

~ 2 Chronicles 30:18-20

18 Although most of the many people who came from Ephraim, Manasseh, Issachar and Zebulun had not purified themselves, yet they ate the Passover, contrary to what was written. But Hezekiah prayed for them, saying, “May the Lord, who is good, pardon everyone 19 who sets their heart on seeking God—the Lord, the God of their ancestors—even if they are not clean according to the rules of the sanctuary.” 20 And the Lord heard Hezekiah and healed the people.