Collisions

What Just Happened?

Sometimes we’re driving down the highway of life when suddenly, without warning, we experience the sudden crash we didn’t see coming.  Whether we are hit from behind or become distracted by life’s circumstances, we suddenly experience an impact we can’t avoid.  Sometimes we can see the danger around us and avoid it, and sometimes, due to lack of awareness, we find ourselves experiencing the sudden collision that happens when two moving objects strike violently against each other.

The bad thing about collisions is that they shake us violently.  We feel the force of two hard objects making impact and it can leave painful damage behind.  Immediately the questions come.

What just happened? Where did that come from? Did I do something wrong? Am I okay? Are they okay? What do I do now? How was I driving along just fine and now I’m not fine?

We assess the damage.  We wait for help to arrive and try to find our way through the mess.  Sometimes our vehicle is driveable but is dented, cracked, and in need of repair.  Sometimes it’s so bad that it has to be towed away while we have to be transported to a place for assessment and healing.

We feel terrible if the collision was our fault.  We feel scared.  We punish ourselves and replay it over and over in our mind.  If we were in our own lane and doing all that we should to follow the laws of the road, we might feel angry and afraid.

This wasn’t supposed to happen to me.

In the midst of the crash, we immediately begin to reconstruct the events leading up to the crash.  We look to assign fault, place blame.  Repairs will have to be made and we want that process to be fair.

Collisions are emotional experiences.  They shake up both sides because both parties have experienced the impact.

Sometimes when people experience a collision it’s obvious what has gone wrong, but one of the parties who is at fault is in a state of obvious denial.  There will be no admitting of guilt.  Sometimes we, the other party, or even both will angrily blame the other person or calmly deny the obvious in a blatant refusal to see the truth.  There is always a price to be paid for our decisions good and bad, but facing the truth and accepting the consequences can be very distressing to us. Why is this so difficult for each of us in our moments of failure?

If we are honest with ourselves, denial begins early.  During my own moments of inner turmoil where I have found myself retreating from the truth, memories return of being a child in trouble and standing before my mom.  Those feelings of failure run deep.

It’s especially hard to face the truth when we hurt someone.  We feel like terrible people, and the shame can be so deep and so painful that we avoid bringing resolution to the situation.  Perhaps we caused the crash because we weren’t as aware of our surroundings as we should be.  Perhaps we veered into the wrong lane emotionally to avoid something coming into our path but failed to see that we were entering into the path of another.

Why do we deny the truth? Perhaps we can’t bear what admitting the truth says about us.  When our value and worth are so closely tied to our performance and we perform poorly by hurting someone, what does that say about us?

Feeling the Impact

Sometimes self-condemning thoughts accompany these collisions such as, “I’m stupid” or “I’m so careless.”  Words like “selfish, irresponsible, dangerous to others” strike hard and fast at our identity.  Shame is a powerful force that doesn’t just say, “this is what I did.” Instead, it says “this is who I am.”  To avoid feelings of shame, we will deny and avoid looking too closely inside ourselves.  It’s just TOO painful.

The good news is that God wants to enter into these places of deep impact and where there have been dents and scars. He desires to bring restoration.

He knows how to smooth out the damage on both vehicles.  He’s good at taking what is damaged and broken – seemingly beyond repair – to bring full restoration and healing if we are only willing to place ourselves in His hands.

Why didn’t He stop the crash? Why did He let it happen? Is it possible that there are things He wants to teach us in the midst of our collisions? Yes, it would be better had the collision never occurred, but that’s beside the point now.  We know that we have many moments of collision in our life and now this latest moment is bringing so much to the surface.  The impact shook stuff loose and now God desires to take these places to create beauty in the midst of the pain.

Rescue from the Collision

I find the meaning of the word “rescue” very interesting when considering the intensity of the impact a collision can produce.

“Rescue” – History and Etymology

(Source: Merriam-Webster.com)

Middle English rescouen, rescuen, from Anglo-French rescure, from re- + escure to shake off, from Latin excutere, from ex- + quatere to shake

: to free from confinement, danger, or evil : SAVE, DELIVER

a: to take (someone, such as a prisoner) forcibly from custody
b: to recover (something, such as a prize) by force
c: to deliver (a place under siege by armed force)

RESCUE, DELIVER, REDEEM, RANSOM, RECLAIM, SAVE mean to set free from confinement or danger. RESCUE implies freeing from imminent danger by prompt or vigorous action. // rescued the crew of a sinking ship // DELIVER implies release usually of a person from confinement, temptation, slavery, or suffering. // delivered his people from bondage // REDEEM implies releasing from bondage or penalties by giving what is demanded or necessary. // job training designed to redeem school dropouts from chronic unemployment // RANSOM specifically applies to buying out of captivity. // tried to ransom the kidnap victim // RECLAIM suggests a bringing back to a former state or condition of someone or something abandoned or debased. // reclaimed long-abandoned farms // SAVE may replace any of the foregoing terms; it may further imply a preserving or maintaining for usefulness or continued existence. // an operation that saved my life //

Reflecting on the meaning of this word, “rescue,” I wonder if we sometimes neglect to recognize God rescuing us from lies long buried deep; lies that can only be worked to the surface in moments of collision.

At some point, truth is going to collide with lies and when that happens, what will we do in those moments?

What if both parties could be brave enough to examine their hearts and place themselves and the other party in God’s hands? What if each side could submit to an honest examination of their heart by God their maker and trust Him to work in the life of the other party?

What if we see the junk in the other person’s life?  Could we be trust God enough to deal with what we discover? Or what if He is calling us to speak His truth in love to the other party?  Could we even be brave enough to risk another collision?

God’s process of working in our lives is not always neat and tidy.  Sometimes it can even feel a little bit violent as He allows the negative circumstances in our lives to occur and work through us.  He never wastes our pain if we will surrender it to Him to use.  He longs to rescue us from the pain of blame and victimization which hold us captive and reveal His deep love for us, making it safe for us to admit our failures.

He longs to remove us from the confines of our defensive positions and usher us into wide open spaces where we can run in freedom with Him as our protector.

After a collision, we might feel like we don’t want to get behind the wheel of a car again for fear of hurting or being hurt, but sooner or later we all have to move beyond the fear of another collision to keep driving down the highway of this journey we’re all traveling through with the Lord.